I’m a huge Batman fan, anybody who knows me knows that. That’s why it’s not really odd that this post will precede my introductory post, which I assure you is coming. Obviously, this week was exciting for me. The problem, however, was that I came home from watching the record-breaking The Dark Knight twice–once on Imax Thursday at midnight, and again on Friday afternoon–with bats on the brain. That was a very bad thing considering that I was already a bit stuck on my current project, and had allotted most of the weekend to spend on screenwriting.

What did I do? I created an exercise that both got those bats off my brain and freed me up to write. I did a mock treatment for how I would do the sequel to The Dark Knight. The idea was that it would be fun and, more importantly, lacking any real pressure. As most screenwriters seem to be, I’m also a world-class self saboteur. I put so much pressure on myself to deliver that sometimes I cripple myself. Everything has to be perfect. Because of that, I spend way more time than I should plotting, rewriting existing scenes and, worst of all, stuck in my head. Anything to avoid moving forward with…something shitty. This exercise worked wonders once before, when I did a mock treatment for Beverly Hills Cop 4. Since I am currently doing a summer-popcorn spec, I figured doing this exercise again with the upcoming third Nolan Batman movie would be worthwhile. Here’s what I came up with for the post-Joker era of the franchise…

First off, I would up the ante. Three villains this time, instead of basically two in each of the previous installments. But who?

First I tried Penguin. I envisioned Phillip Seymour Hoffman as a behind-the-scenes mastermind criminal, not a campy rendition of Oswald Cobblepot. Didn’t work, and I don’t believe it can or will. I steered clear, and I suggest Christopher Nolan and Co. do the same.

My next idea was The Riddler. With Nolan’s history of doing films that mimic memory and magic tricks, The Riddler is a natural fit. But how do you pull him off without him being a B-rate Joker? Easy. You write him like a Zodiac killer-type, who stays hidden for most of the film, revealing himself only through his riddles (letters, phone calls, videos, etc…). Think of a cross between Phone Booth, V for Vendetta and Zodiac. That’s why an actor that could provide a captivating performance with mostly his voice would be needed. Hugo Weaving would be my ideal candidate.

One villain down, two to go.

Next, I actually love Jeph Loeb’s suggestion of Catwoman and Poision Ivy. Don’t roll your eyes. Catwoman has never really been done well, and Posion Ivy certainly hasn’t. Similar to Two-Face, there’s nothing but room for improvement. Bane is impossible to do, so is Mr. Freeze. Anarky won’t be a box office draw. Deadshot, to me, is the only other real possibility in the Nolanverse. While he would be cool, his inclusion would be somewhat anti-climatic after the Joker-Two-Face double-decker we just got fed. My proposed trio has also never graced the silver screen together.

I would forgo recasting The Joker and just mention that he’s locked up in Arkum Asylum in passing to close the book on that character. The Joker had his movie, and it was a great one, but nobody is going to be able to fill Heath Ledger’s Clown Prince of Crime shoes.

I would start out with Batman struggling to make any progress in his pursuit of The Riddler, a sociopath serial killer who’s his greatest challenge yet. Being hunted by the law and trashed by the public makes things even more difficult. Because of this, Bruce is actually enjoying being Bruce more than Batman for once. Being back at Wayne Manor helps Bruce, but the new-and-improved Batcave isn’t helping much on the Batman front. Since he isn’t doing much good in Gotham, he’s taking a more global approach as a do-gooder. With the help of famed ecologist Pamela Isley (Poison Ivy), Bruce’s new squeeze, Wayne Enterprises is developing a groundbreaking new “green energy” project. Pamela is completely consumed by the project, her life’s work. She’s also pushing Bruce to make a deeper, even permanent, commitment to her. Still not completely over Rachel, and with Gotham still needing its Caped Crusader, he won’t make that kind of commitment. He cares for her, deeply, but he just can’t. He’s also keeping “the secret” from her, which puts a serious strain on the relationship. That’s something none of the Batman films have explored, so it would be very interesting to watch that juggling act. I envision Angelina Jolie as Poison Ivy.

Next, The Riddler sets up both Batman and Gotham’s finest, so that instead of finding him they find each other, and a shootout ensues.  Batman gets wounded badly, and is about to be tracked down and captured in an alley. That is when Selina Kyle (Catwoman), a sexy street prostitute, discovers him and hides him in her place. She trades one of her doctor clients free incalls for helping Bruce, and saves his ass once again. She also discovers Bruce’s true identity, but no worries–she has been smitten over Batman for a long time, and falls head over heels in love with Bruce. To repay her, Bruce takes her out of the slums and get her a job as his stylist.  I like the Frank Miller hooker angle for Catwoman, and I have an idea for her becoming Catwoman, too. I would cast Kate Winslet as Catwoman.

Selina puts the full-court press on Bruce, Demi Moore-in-Disclosure-style, and Bruce can barely resist. He does, however, and not only rejects Selina but fires her as well. He really has no choice, as he has deep feelings for Pamela and wants to protect her. Selina suffers a psychotic breakdown. She decides that she is going to ruin both Bruce Wayne and Batman. She goes on the Mike Engal show and reveals Batman’s identity, forcing Bruce into seclusion. With Bruce’s life wrecked, she now goes after Batman. She robs Wayne Enterprises as a Cat burglar before going on the Mike Engal show. With the help of a few hired criminal hands she knew from her prostitute days, she steals the funds and resources to help her give birth to Catwoman. Her criminal friends are handsomely rewarded for the contributions.

Before going into hiding, Bruce calls things off with Pamela for her own protection. He also temporarily puts her “green energy” project on hold until Wayne Enterprises restores its name. The company is nearly ruined when it is exposed as a front for the world’s most-wanted vigilante. This infuriates Pamela, and she remains determined to go through with her dream project, no matter what she has to do in order to achieve that goal. Poison Ivy, eco-terrorist extraordinaire is born.

Batman/Bruce Wayne is now Public Enemy No. 1, while fending off three adversaries–Catwoman, Gordon and Co. and Poison Ivy–and trying to catch a fourth–The Riddler. With Bruce Wayne exposed as Batman, you would have to do something else that has never been done in a Batman film–put Alfred’s life in jeopardy. Poison Ivy poisons Alfred and holds him hostage. She knew their secret location and waited until Alfred was alone to strike. She alone has the anecdote to her botanical chemical agent that she promises to turn on Gotham if Bruce doesn’t sign a contract giving her full control of her former project at Wayne Enterprises once again.

Meanwhile, while Batman is chasing down the Riddler, Catwoman catches him off guard. He tries to reason with her, but there is no reasoning with Selina. He cares for her and feels responsible for her condition, so he won’t fight back. He takes an ass whipping, but manages to escape. Batman was closer to catching The Riddler than ever, but Catwoman allows botched that. Selina follows Bruce, intending to finish the job. When Bruce returns to his secret location, he sees that Pamela has abducted Alfred and her plan. He has no choice but to go after Poision Ivy. He hopes he can save her, because, once again, he feels responsible.

Pamela is new to the crime business, however, and her plan is foiled by the Riddler. When Batman arrives at Pamela’s, he finds her dead and a riddle waiting for him. The riddle isn’t complex, so he figures it out instantly. Because of this, Batman knows he’s heading into a trap, one that he and Alfred won’t likely walk away from. Still, he has no choice but to proceed. Catwoman sees all of this. Remorseful upon seeing Pamela dead and Alfred and Bruce soon to be, she decides to call the police and give them Batman’s destination. She also will follow him and try to help herself.

The final showdown is at The Riddler’s creepy layer, which is something I obviously didn’t have the chance to develop…lol. The Riddler has the unconscious Alfred at gunpoint and is facing off with Batman. Due to the diversion created by Gordon outside on a megaphone, Batman makes his move. The Riddler, however, immediately fires at Batman, a straight shot, when Catwoman swoops in and takes the bullet for him. The police announce they are coming in, and in the mist of all that confusion The Riddler and Batman lose track of each other. As soon as the police burst through the door, Batman swoops in and knocks The Riddler unconscious, but not before taking a shot in the gut. Gordon and several police witness this courageous act. Gordon assesses the situation, and it appears that The Riddler is unconscious and Batman and Catwoman are dead, with Alfred possibly joining them soon.

Batman has also never really been presumed dead, at least for longer than an instant. Which is why I would also include that aspect.

One month later…Bruce Wayne wakes up from his coma. He sees Alfred, who’s life was saved by Lucius Fox and his last-minute anecdote. The truth is revealed about Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent, because Gotham no longer needs either hero with The Riddler put away and Gordon in control. Bruce is honored with a ceremony and retires the cape and cowl with Batman’s image fully restored…for now. His work as Bruce Wayne is not done, though. In honor of Pamela, Wayne Enterprises relaunches its “green energy” project. Then Bruce is off to Arkum Aslyum, where we see that Selina Kyle is alive, but not healthy. Bruce walks in to talk to her. Fade to black.

OK, so is this Chinatown? Absolutely not. But it’s a pretty good hour-or-two effort and a decent stab at what direction the next Batman film should go. More importantly, I went right in afterward and tackled a scene that had been giving me fits. I’ve gotten a shitload of writing done this weekend as well. That is why I highly suggest this exercise. If Batman isn’t your thing, do Spider-Man 4 or The Devil Still Wears Prada. Like with other people’s lives and relationships, sometimes things are a lot easier when you are on the outside looking in. Afterward, you can apply that outside-looking-in, no-pressure approach to your own stuff. It’s hard as a writer to dive in and say fuck it. Mock treatments really, really help. The exercise also gives you writing momentum, something that I feel is possibly as essential as any other aspect of writing. Like Woody Allen said, “80 percent of success is showing up.”

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