Before giving you my thoughts on Burn After Reading (which I saw Wednesday night thanks to AICN and The Alamo Drafthouse), I want to rank it among the Coen Brothers’ past movies. This is subjective, but here’s how I rank their 13 films:

1. Fargo
2. No Country For Old Men
3. The Big Lebowski
4. Blood Simple
5. Barton Fink
6. The Man Who Wasn’t There
7. Miller’s Crossing
8. Burn After Reading
9. Raising Arizona
10. O Brother ,Where Art Thou
11. The Hudsucker Proxy
12. Intolerable Cruelty
13. The Ladykillers

First off, I probably have The Man Who Wasn’t There ranked higher than most, but I love that film. Maybe it’s the Coens and Roger Deakins in black and white (just stunning)? Or maybe it’s the stellar turn by Billy Bob Thornton? I’m also a noir freak, so maybe that’s it? Some might have Raising Arizona higher. Not me. While it might be more rewatchable than most of the films slotted above it, it’s not a better film. That’s about where Burn After Reading fits in. I have it ranked slightly above Raising Arizona, for now, mainly because of the strong acting performances by its celebrated ensemble cast.

Also, keep in mind that the bottom three are not in the same league as the top 10. Not even close.

I really enjoyed the film, though, and feel it’s one of their titles that’s going to be extremely rewatchable. After watching The Big Lebowski in theaters, I felt about like I do now about Burn After Reading. Lebowski grew on me big time, similar to Wes Anderson’s The Royal Tenenbaums. It’s not uncommon for movies to grow on me, especially comedies, but it is uncommon for them to do so to such a degree. It’s hard to say if Burn After Reading will move up like Lebowski, or stay put like Raising Arizona. I’ll play it safe and guess the latter.

The film feels disjointed for a while, possibly because you’re trying to figure out who the protagonist is. But I also like that it does feel that way. Kind of gives you that Washington outsider-type feel, which works well when you discover that the protagonist is Linda Litzke, Frances McDormand’s cosmetic surgery-obsessed fitness instructor. You kind of feel out of the loop or in over your head, which really all the five main characters are. You just never know how far in over they are until–BAM!–it hits you. That’s all I can say since I want to keep this a spoiler-free post.

It’s also a genre bender, like Barton Fink was. I mean, what the hell do you call this thing? It’s Coens all the way, but it almost has a Tony Gilroy (Bourne series, Michael Clayton) quality to it, or at least a bizarro Gilroy feel. Like if Gilroy penned a black comedy with a no-explosions stipulation. There’s even a car chase. Bourne After Reading? It’s part spy thriller, part black comedy, part satire, part ensemble flick and ALL Coens. One big clusterfuck of intelligence, technology, vanity, infidelity, Internet dating, middle-agedness, physical fitness and sex toy fetishes. What does the cluster fuck say to us in the end? That we take things like these and ourselves way too seriously.

Brad Pitt’s “Chad” defines why movies like Ghost Rider do well at the box office, and how W. got elected for not one but two terms. A brilliant performance. Green Day may have coined the phrase American Idiot, but nobody’s pulled it off as well as Pitt. His character sums up the whole movie; a bunch of confused dipshits who would serve themselves well if they realized they weren’t even half as smart as they thought they were. This movie says that we need to be OK with not being perfect, or we’ll end up a race of ignorant, fake, murderous infidels, fucking up all kinds of “shit” (as Chad would say) to keep from looking at ourselves in the mirror.

I definitely recommend Burn After Reading. Both to go see in the theaters and scoop once it hits DVD and Blu-Ray.

Sorry I’ve been AWOL the past week–had a lot of stuff come up. Tomorrow, I am fortunate enough to be on the list for the free Burn After Reading screening at The Alamo Drafthouse South. I love the Coen Bros., and this movie is No. 6 on the upcoming last installment (top ten) of my Fall/Winter Movie Preview. I smell shades of The Big Lebowski. Back soon with the scoop…

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It’s been awhile, so I’m not going to offer a lengthy review here. I’d probably give the movie a B-, and a B+ for rewatchability. Robert Downey Jr. was indeed brilliant, but I don’t think Tropic Thunder was the instant classic many critics are making it out to be. I mean, talk about hype. Justin Theroux penned the script, his first, and now he’s writing Iron Man 2? The script was OK, but without the stellar cast I think the movie would have fallen somewhat flat.

I also would have preferred that Owen Wilson would have played the agent character that was written for him, instead of Matthew McConaughey. Unfortunately, personal stuff kept Owen out of the project. I did love the previews, however, especially the Satan’s Alley one. Happy Jack is also hilarious, politically correct or not. Jack Black was pretty hit or miss for me, as was Tom Cruise.

Additionally, I had a headache, which goes along with my theory that mood can greatly affect your movie-going experience. I will have to watch this a couple more times once it hits DVD to make my final judgment.

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15. Seven Pounds - Will Smith hooks back up with The Pursuit of Happyness director Gabriele Muccino. I enjoy Big Will and liked their first hook-up. and this project is intriguing. Check out the tagline: “In seven days God created the world… in seven seconds He shattered mine.”

14. Changeling - Angelina Jolie directed by Clint Eastwood. Talk about making my day–sign me up. My guess is that this picture will net Jolie another Oscar nom, and possibly yet another one for Clint as well.

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No need to beat around the bush…let’s start counting down the 20 Fall/Winter movies that I’m most excited about…

20. City of Ember - Bill Murray starring in a sci-fi/fantasy flick? Count me in. I love apocalyptic stories (this won’t be the only one in this preview) series, and the book seems to have a strong following. Although the trailer and release date kind of give me that Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow vibe.

19. Defiance - Yes, I’m aware that this is the heavy-handed Zwickster. But I’m also a huge, huge Daniel Craig fan. The minute I saw Layer Cake I wanted him to be Bond. He’s great in Munich, too. Then again, I’m worried that this is just going to be a shiny, overdone Hollywood version of Come and See. This is ranked here solely because of Craig.

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One of the things I want to do with this site is occasional film reviews. After reading the reviews–it’s currently in the low 20s over at Rotten Tomatoes!–I just don’t think I can go to the theater and see The Clone Wars. I’m a huge Star Wars fan, and after going home depressed after two of the three prequels, I’m not going to do it to myself again. I’m going to wait for the Blu-Ray, and rent it from Netflix at that.

I do plan on going to see a couple movies this weekend. The first is Tropic Thunder, Ben Stiller’s directorial follow-up to the hilarious Zoolander. The second, is Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Both are in the 80s on Rotten Tomatoes, and I’m a big fan of Woody Allen, but also Jack Black (the best part of the latest King Kong, if you ask me), Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz (Volver was awesome), Robert Downey Jr. and Scarlett Johansson. I actually just watched one of my favorite Woody Allen films, Match Point, which stars the lovely Johansson. The only Woody flick I like better is The Purple Rose of Cairo.

Let’s hope that VCB ranks up there with those two films, as well as Annie Hall, Bullets Over Broadway and all Woody’s other gems. Let’s also hope that Tropic Thunder splits my side.

Also, am I crazy to think that The Dark Knight is a dark horse to win the box office one again?

Not from me. You get no immunity from me, you piece of shit. Every criminal I have put in prison, every cop that owes me a favor, every creep and scumbag that walks the streets for a living will know the name of Verbal Kint. Now you talk to me, or that precious immunity they seem so fit to grant you won’t be worth the paper the contract put out on your life is printed on. - Chazz Palminteri as Dave Kujon in The Usual Suspects

I’ve mentioned this before, but tickets are now on sale. I can’t wait to see one of my favorite films from the 90s, with one of its stars there to talk about the film. Gotta love The Usual Suspects. Gotta love the Alamo Drafthouse, too. Gotta love Chazz Palminteri (A Bronx Tale, Bullets Over Broadway). This is a no-brainer. Go get your tickets while you still can. I’m buying mine right now.

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UPDATE: Looks like I waited a little too long. Amazon is sold out at 7:33 PM CST. Guess I will be waiting for Blu-Ray.

Can I keep my impulses in check, or will I pull the trigger on this awesome deal? Man, my DVD addiction is bad. The only thing making me trigger shy is that I know they are coming out with 007 titles on Blu-Ray later this year. I’m thinking I’ll wait, but if you love Bond you might want to buy now–the deal will be over at midnight. Especially if you don’t have a Blu-Ray player.

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Today’s big screenwriting news is that Kurt Wimmer will re-write the Tom Cruise role in the spy thriller Edwin A. Salt…for Angelina Jolie. As a result, I’m a whole lot more interested in seeing Salt. Sorry, Tom, but it’s just a much more original concept now. After seeing Jolie in Wanted, we also know that Jon Voight’s offspring can pull it off.

This switch got me thinking…screenwriting is a male-driven industry, and most films have male protagonists, and most of the highest-grossing actors are men…BUT because of those facts, female audiences are almost ignored completely, deprived of protagonists that empower women.That’s why you should always at least ponder switching the way your protag pees–from standing up to sitting down.

I met Karen MCullah and Kirsten Smith, who wrote 10 Things I Hate About You, a long time ago. They were the ones who first planted the gender-switch seed in my head. I was struggling with a father-son coming-of-age spec screenplay, and it just wasn’t doing it for me. At their suggestion, I switched the protagonist to a female. It totally brought my story to life. In retrospect, the story was never compelling enough to sell. But it was much, much more compelling after I made the lead a female.

Before today, I hadn’t thought of that whole experience in forever. Looks like I’m going to have to pull out some scripts and think about doing some sex change operations. Off the top of my head, I might change an antagonist, a big-time villain, to a female. Think about it; if you write a bad-ass role for a fella, how bad ass will that character be when you re-write it for a female. Just think about it. Would Misery have been a classic if Kathy Bates’ character was written (by Steven King or William Goldman) a man? Probably not.

This won’t work for a lot of scripts, but I’m guessing it could also fix a few. I found switching the role after I wrote it the most effective way to do this. That way I wrote a STRONG female character. Not that I’m a chauvinist, but I definitely think she ended up being stronger because of that approach. Hey, it’s worth a try. If it fails, at least you got to be Lorena Bobbit for a day.

Gandalf: Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee. Have you been eavesdropping?

Sam: I ain’t been droppin’ no eaves sir, honest. I was just cutting the grass under the window there, if you’ll follow me.

Gandalf: A little late for trimming the verge, don’t you think?

Sam: I heard raised voices.

Gandalf: What did you hear? Speak.

Sam: N-nothing important. That is, I heard a good deal about a ring, and a Dark Lord, and something about the end of the world, but… Please, Mr. Gandalf, sir, don’t hurt me. Don’t turn me into anything… unnatural.

- Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (IMDB)

Eavesdropping and people watching are a good ways to both generate story ideas and improve your dialogue writing skills. Listen to people. Watch people. Do it in line, at the mall, at the supermarket–people act nutty at the supermarket. Take a walk downtown and just observe. Keep an eye on how fans behave and talk at ballgames. Sit outside and check out how people interact with their dogs when they walk them. Watch people when you drive or ride in a car; people sing, put on make-up and do all kinds of wacky shit at stoplights and at traffic jams, or even while they’re driving.

Just try it–what do you have to lose? After a while, you will do it so well that not only will you go undetected, but you will also eavesdrop/people watch instinctively.