Before giving you my thoughts on Burn After Reading (which I saw Wednesday night thanks to AICN and The Alamo Drafthouse), I want to rank it among the Coen Brothers’ past movies. This is subjective, but here’s how I rank their 13 films:

1. Fargo
2. No Country For Old Men
3. The Big Lebowski
4. Blood Simple
5. Barton Fink
6. The Man Who Wasn’t There
7. Miller’s Crossing
8. Burn After Reading
9. Raising Arizona
10. O Brother ,Where Art Thou
11. The Hudsucker Proxy
12. Intolerable Cruelty
13. The Ladykillers

First off, I probably have The Man Who Wasn’t There ranked higher than most, but I love that film. Maybe it’s the Coens and Roger Deakins in black and white (just stunning)? Or maybe it’s the stellar turn by Billy Bob Thornton? I’m also a noir freak, so maybe that’s it? Some might have Raising Arizona higher. Not me. While it might be more rewatchable than most of the films slotted above it, it’s not a better film. That’s about where Burn After Reading fits in. I have it ranked slightly above Raising Arizona, for now, mainly because of the strong acting performances by its celebrated ensemble cast.

Also, keep in mind that the bottom three are not in the same league as the top 10. Not even close.

I really enjoyed the film, though, and feel it’s one of their titles that’s going to be extremely rewatchable. After watching The Big Lebowski in theaters, I felt about like I do now about Burn After Reading. Lebowski grew on me big time, similar to Wes Anderson’s The Royal Tenenbaums. It’s not uncommon for movies to grow on me, especially comedies, but it is uncommon for them to do so to such a degree. It’s hard to say if Burn After Reading will move up like Lebowski, or stay put like Raising Arizona. I’ll play it safe and guess the latter.

The film feels disjointed for a while, possibly because you’re trying to figure out who the protagonist is. But I also like that it does feel that way. Kind of gives you that Washington outsider-type feel, which works well when you discover that the protagonist is Linda Litzke, Frances McDormand’s cosmetic surgery-obsessed fitness instructor. You kind of feel out of the loop or in over your head, which really all the five main characters are. You just never know how far in over they are until–BAM!–it hits you. That’s all I can say since I want to keep this a spoiler-free post.

It’s also a genre bender, like Barton Fink was. I mean, what the hell do you call this thing? It’s Coens all the way, but it almost has a Tony Gilroy (Bourne series, Michael Clayton) quality to it, or at least a bizarro Gilroy feel. Like if Gilroy penned a black comedy with a no-explosions stipulation. There’s even a car chase. Bourne After Reading? It’s part spy thriller, part black comedy, part satire, part ensemble flick and ALL Coens. One big clusterfuck of intelligence, technology, vanity, infidelity, Internet dating, middle-agedness, physical fitness and sex toy fetishes. What does the cluster fuck say to us in the end? That we take things like these and ourselves way too seriously.

Brad Pitt’s “Chad” defines why movies like Ghost Rider do well at the box office, and how W. got elected for not one but two terms. A brilliant performance. Green Day may have coined the phrase American Idiot, but nobody’s pulled it off as well as Pitt. His character sums up the whole movie; a bunch of confused dipshits who would serve themselves well if they realized they weren’t even half as smart as they thought they were. This movie says that we need to be OK with not being perfect, or we’ll end up a race of ignorant, fake, murderous infidels, fucking up all kinds of “shit” (as Chad would say) to keep from looking at ourselves in the mirror.

I definitely recommend Burn After Reading. Both to go see in the theaters and scoop once it hits DVD and Blu-Ray.

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I also would have preferred that Owen Wilson would have played the agent character that was written for him, instead of Matthew McConaughey. Unfortunately, personal stuff kept Owen out of the project. I did love the previews, however, especially the Satan’s Alley one. Happy Jack is also hilarious, politically correct or not. Jack Black was pretty hit or miss for me, as was Tom Cruise.

Additionally, I had a headache, which goes along with my theory that mood can greatly affect your movie-going experience. I will have to watch this a couple more times once it hits DVD to make my final judgment.

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15. Seven Pounds - Will Smith hooks back up with The Pursuit of Happyness director Gabriele Muccino. I enjoy Big Will and liked their first hook-up. and this project is intriguing. Check out the tagline: “In seven days God created the world… in seven seconds He shattered mine.”

14. Changeling - Angelina Jolie directed by Clint Eastwood. Talk about making my day–sign me up. My guess is that this picture will net Jolie another Oscar nom, and possibly yet another one for Clint as well.

13. Doubt - I loved the play. I love Philip Seymour Hoffman. I love Meryl Streep. I like Amy Adams…BUT John Patrick Shanley also wrote Congo. Amy, bad gorilla! Johnny, bad script! Still, I’m excited.

12. Synecdoche, New York - Yes, it sounds weird as hell, and the reviews have not all been favorable (early reviews, by the way). But I owe it to both Hoffman and the genius Charlie Kaufman. Boom or bust, I will be there.

11. Appaloosa - Everyone who knows me knows that I’m a Western fanatic. Throw in Ed Harris, Jeremy Irons and Viggo Mortensen? Yep, I’m your huckleberry. It might not be the box office draw that 3:10 to Yuma was, but I’m betting it will be every bit as enjoyable. Maybe not The Proposition good, but good nonetheless.

Top ten coming soon…

20. City of Ember - Bill Murray starring in a sci-fi/fantasy flick? Count me in. I love apocalyptic stories (this won’t be the only one in this preview) series, and the book seems to have a strong following. Although the trailer and release date kind of give me that Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow vibe.

19. Defiance - Yes, I’m aware that this is the heavy-handed Zwickster. But I’m also a huge, huge Daniel Craig fan. The minute I saw Layer Cake I wanted him to be Bond. He’s great in Munich, too. Then again, I’m worried that this is just going to be a shiny, overdone Hollywood version of Come and See. This is ranked here solely because of Craig.

18. The Brothers Bloom - Readers of this blog will know how much I loved Rian Johnson’s Brick, and this was his sophomore effort. I wanted to rank it higher, but I’m afraid he’s going to pull a Richard Kelly and go all Southland Tales on us. Rachel Weisz does it for me, though. I’m not gonna lie. I’m also an Adrien Brody fan.

17. Blindness - Gael García Bernal is the man, so I’m stoked that he’s the villain. I’m also just really intrigued by both the rest of the cast and the subject matter. What if you were the only person who could see in a society gone blind? Even though it bombed at Cannes, I’m going to give it a shot because it’s being re-cut  and, more importantly, I loved Fernando Meirelles’ City of God.

16. Miracle At St. Anna - I loved Spike Lee’s Inside Man so much that I owe it to him to see this movie no matter what. I’m also interested in the story. Seems like a pet project for Spike, and I generally trust his taste. Do the Right Thing is one of my favorite movies, however, so I might be biased.

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Who knows, this may be completely worthless for you. But it’s helped me, so I thought I’d pass it along.

In determining priority for shipping and inventory allocation, we may utilize many different factors such as the number and type of DVDs you rent through our service, the subscription plan you select, and other uses of our service by you. For example, if all other factors are the same, we give priority to those members who receive the fewest DVDs through our service.

So, let me get this straight…the more you pay, the less pull you have priority-wise? Isn’t that sort of taking advantage of your best customers? As someone who always gets four, five or six DVDs at a time, I think this just sucks. Looks like I’m never getting Spaced or any new release on Blu-Ray. Thanks a lot, Netflix.

I also did get to see Tropic Thunder, and will have a review on that up sometime this week…

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I do plan on going to see a couple movies this weekend. The first is Tropic Thunder, Ben Stiller’s directorial follow-up to the hilarious Zoolander. The second, is Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Both are in the 80s on Rotten Tomatoes, and I’m a big fan of Woody Allen, but also Jack Black (the best part of the latest King Kong, if you ask me), Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz (Volver was awesome), Robert Downey Jr. and Scarlett Johansson. I actually just watched one of my favorite Woody Allen films, Match Point, which stars the lovely Johansson. The only Woody flick I like better is The Purple Rose of Cairo.

Let’s hope that VCB ranks up there with those two films, as well as Annie Hall, Bullets Over Broadway and all Woody’s other gems. Let’s also hope that Tropic Thunder splits my side.

Also, am I crazy to think that The Dark Knight is a dark horse to win the box office one again?